Okay, so maybe not. Maybe what I REALLY want to do is collect my God given right to disability, and a little unemployment and work on being the artist my soul craves to be. After a 6 am conversation with a local artist across the street on my way to do laps at my local Y, I realized that being an artist and making a lovely living from it isn't that hard, considering I have live right smack in the middle of the art world mecca. His advice to me, "Go to as many gallery openings, get to know the gallery owners and curators. (I'm going to add museums to the list.) Then make sure you have pictures of your work. I plan on using making a digital picture book and postcards once I have a functioning camera again. I can do this. I don't have to sell my soul to the media devil again. I will not be on another plantation if I can financially swing it. I really think I can. Shane's totally paranoid about me working anyway and people harming his meek and mild little wife. I will let him continue seeing me as meek and mild. Well, technically I am. But in my heart of hearts I am a queen lioness. I am a LION. I sat in the den of evil lions like a timid sheep and God led me through to the other side. But now....now, I'm on the other side and I believe I need to show my Lion spirit again. Hopefully, I won't be too overmedicated and insecure. But since this whole experience, the night of my big post I went and got a massage from Dawn at Body Essentials. I nearly went broke doing that but I knew one of her people would be the only hope in me getting un-Ambien inspired sleep. I got the Chakra balancing. As I ohm'd, ehm'd and ahh'd myself into calm, I had my head annointed with chakra oil. I recalled Psalms 23 with loving adoration of God and how he knows where he wants you to be when. I did leave feeling balanced and like a queen of Sheba. Selah. Each psalms ends in selah. Pause, reflect. Remember. I shall. And in this time I learned I don't need to apologize so much because I am a queen. I make no apologies for who I am and where I shall be. I am just as is, as God wants me to be. I read a lot of Job and a lot of Psalms. Am I crazy to think that being born on the day of Mandela has made me blessed? I think not. I think I am just as I am to be.
Selah.

Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.
- Edith Sitwell

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  1. i am sending you music...good, healing, inspirational, lovely music.

    [Verse 1]
    Little girl with the press and curl
    Age eight I got a Jheri curl
    Thirteen I got a relaxer
    I was a source of so much laughter
    At fifteen when it all broke off
    Eighteen and went all natural
    February two thousand and two
    I went and did
    What I had to do
    Because it was time to change my life
    To become the women that I am inside
    Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone
    I looked in the mirror
    For the first time and saw that HEY....

    [Chorus]
    I am not my hair
    I am not this skin
    I am not your expectations no no
    I am not my hair
    I am not this skin
    I am a soul that lives within

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