Dear Harlem Mama, tell these hos to leave my man alone.


Dear Harlem Mama,

I have the strangest problem. Women seem to be throwing themselves at my man, even when I'm staring them dead in the face. There are winks and lots of hugs and a pretending they don't see me. One stranger actually had both her kids run up to him for hugs, a complete stranger. Isn't that bad parenting? I know he looks good, but I'm getting tired of all these hos acting like they can't leave my man alone.

~Hos after my Bro

Dear Sister with a ho problem,

I hear you and I feel your concern. Although I hate to refer to my fellow sistren as bitches and hos, there are some rude and disrespectful behavior that makes us want to just call a spade a spade. But let us try to love them as sisters, even if we do want to slap their faces. But we don't. We are ladies and at the end of the day, they are ladies, too, just with very bad home training.

I agree, it is a problem. It is a problem that is way too common. You see it in public places all the time. When your man starts to portray traits they want in a man, the bait starts sprinkle.  For one, you're man is  a good guy, going wherever you go, especially if it displays his ability to be a good parent or show patient support for you in long lines or when you are shopping. Unfortunately, these public spaces for some women are a sign that this man is free game. If she works it hard enough, he may just respond, especially if he has a tendency to cheat. She may be assuming, based on her own experience, he just might be interested. Her bait may have in the past tempted many of the weakest men.

How does he respond? Is he uncomfortable? Is he sharing honestly about what's going on around the two of you? Does he move in closer to you? Does he roll his eyes or just try to ignore it? Those are all good signs that you have a good man used to female attention, but not about walk away from you, the one he loves or wants to keep getting to know.  Just because women are baiting, doesn't mean he's the most gullible fish in the pond. He probably is with you for reasons your own insecurities might be preventing you from acknowledging. How about I take a guess and say that you are awesome. You are beautiful. You are a treasure. You are worth keeping because you are a good woman.

Let go of the insecurities these women are creating inside of you. Let it go. When you see the winking, maybe a smile and rub down your man's back might give him the support he needs in this uncomfortable moment. Don't let it distract you from your duties at hand, whether it's at a PTA meeting or in the checkout line. There is no need to respond to her. She is nothing to you so do not let her gain control of a situation by yelling, "Get, your hands off my man, bitch." That's just wasting your energy and it will provide only temporary relief. The real response is to respond with confidence, a laugh and a dismissive roll of the eyes with a sweet and quick public display of affection. Your confidence is enough to crush unwanted baiting any day.

Any yes, you are right, the woman allowing her children to hug strangers is an idiot. Bad parenting written all over that one. 

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