Dear Harlem Mama: Envy, trying to shake it




Dear Harlem Mama,

Another year has passed and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be in my life. I see so many of my friends successful and moving on up. Keeping food on my table and gas in the car has been my priority. I had great plans. Reality is so depressing. 

Signed,
Nowhere Near

Dear Nowhere Near, 

I think most of us feel like that at some point no matter where we fall in the category of having things. The reality is that if you turn on the news you will see that there are more people suffering to stay warm, with food in their bellies and roof over their heads than we realize. Sites like addictive Facebook give you a false sense of everybody's reality because if these people aren't calling you up to hang out, they most likely don't want you to know what's really going on in their lives. 

The truth is that unemployment and foreclosures are still high in this country. Some communities, like the African-American, are experiencing this in higher numbers. The reality is that it's getting harder and harder to make ends meet. 

My advice is to ignore what you think you are seeing as success. I follow some sites where I know the people are rich and famous and not struggling. It's like an escape from my own limitations. Sometimes I have to take a break because I know their reality is not mine. Watching others brings out envy, which is why it is something we all need to check. Envy taking over will cause you to lose sight of the blessings you have.

Whatever looks full and lush on the outside might be scarce and meager on the inside.  And in this economy, expect more are struggling than they are letting on.  After all, there is nothing wrong with counting blessings when things are rough. It reminds us of how much we still have to lose, God forbid. 

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